Now playing: Gackt – オレンジの太陽 via FoxyTunes

Tried to import old WordPress files into this blog, but that wasn’t happening.  I guess I shouldn’t let things linger around for a million years.

I’ve been feeling happier than how I was a few months ago.  A lot of things don’t bother me anymore; I’m not concerned over whether or not people care about the things I do.  I’m glad too that I’ve finally grown some thicker skin.  Maybe I could attribute it to growing older and just realizing none of this is important.

I’ve been wondering about feelings too.  Are they really essential?  Are they real?  It’s becoming easier to just brush them aside.

An example, this poor boy at work has this “big crush” on me.  But I’m an android and can’t be bothered with him.  I realize he has a mind of his own, hobbies and interests and whatnot, but I just don’t and won’t reciprocate the feelings.  Although, the biggest factor in that is we really would not function well when the foundations are compared.  I already know this.   My life is probably drastically different than most people’s and I rarely share my history with people.  I can say my best friend from high school barely knew my life, but she knew me!  I think that’s important.  More important than anything else.  But, I also get that feeling she isn’t interested in really knowing a person’s motives.

That’s something I really enjoy doing from time to time; finding quiet time to be alone with one other person and really talking about something they’re curious or passionate about.  I love hearing their thoughts, motives, etc in a way they probably haven’t spoken with others.  It doesn’t matter if I can relate or if they want to turn the tables and find out what I want–I just enjoy those bits of magic.

My drawing of Apolo Anton Ohno

I’m not sure about where to go with my graphics or art anymore though.  I don’t know.  Is there a point where it just becomes doing the same thing over and over again?  I remember the thrill of trying new styles and different techniques, but now I’m not really into doing that… or even working on the normal medium I usually use.  I get bits of that old feeling though… where I want to draw and draw.  But that happens at a time when I don’t have my paper or pencils.

Android.  Android.  Android.  That’s how I feel.  Or not feel, but behave.  Just do the routine.

I finished my drawing of Apolo Anton Ohno.  I’m pretty happy with the outcome even though a lot of people on dA ignored it.  But that’s expected since they watch me for drawings of Jaejoong.  I’m working on making new watchers who just like good art and don’t care whether or not they know the person in the drawing.  I have to finish those requests, which will be a bother.  Especially Junsu.  He looks like a Korean Roger Federer in the reference picture I have to use.  How suckass.  Haha.

Hm, it was nice seeing Rafa Nadal on television the past couple of weeks.  It’s fine he lost in the semifinals of both tournaments, but it’s clay season now and I have faith in him.  His knees looked really good; not taped up!  I hope he’s mentally ready… I think he is.

I guess this is it for now.  What my life has been.  Or will be.  At that crossroad.